Looking towards the future

It is a slow realization that my life will change drasticlly in a couple of months. In June I graduate from High School. I will never again be called a high school student. I don't know if I should be jumping up and down with joy, or approaching this change with apprehension. It kind of reminds me of my pending 10th birthday. As excited as I was to be another year older and closer to womanhood, it was a shock that I would never be a single digit age again. That seems a silly comparision, but I was not at all saddned by my graduatoin from 8th grade into high school. Grammer school was literally a hell on earth for me, and I never wish to repeat those years. But High School has been an experiance, both good and bad, but definatly a learning one. The time is fast approaching. And it is hard to believe, and slowly sinking into my head. I look around my room with each passing day and am realizing that this will only be my room when i visit. When I visit, because it will no longer be my permanent home. I will be going out into the world (of Boston) and living a new life, leaving behind the old. Much like sheading of skin. It is a welcome change that I won't have to visit my father everyother weekend and deal with the junk that he puts on me, but I will mourn the loss of my much loved house. This will be the biggest change in all my 18 years of living. But still, mixed feelings are building up inside of me. Change has that affect on the best of us, I do believe. The future is looming on the horizon, and I go to meet it. It makes me excited, to think that I will be meeting new people, gaining new friends, and living new experiences. But I am afraid that it will leave a whole inside of me that could have the potential to swallow me, if I let it. There are particular people that I will miss most of all, others were just passing through and does not matter much if they come or go. I guess that is how it goes, you take with you those that mean the most to you, so that at the end of your life you are only surrounded by the best. Those that you trust, and love, and who return the feelings. Only the truest of friends. I guess I have to look at it like a spring cleaning of friends. of my soul. Only the important people, important ideas, leave with you.