Sunday Mornings

I woke up about an hour ago and the time has gone by lazily. I sit in my bed, and listen to the ebb and flow of traffic, the white noise constantly generated. I contemplate what I'll wear for church today, debating whether I should wear tights or go barelegged. At work yesterday, I received some flowers, purple and white flowers, with lots of green. It's beautiful and they are staring me in the face. I reflect on yesterday and anticipate the future. And all this has happened in the past three minutes.

Yesterday, I talked with the object of my affection for the present. He has no idea. But we created sweet conversation that both made me laugh and cry. He became my best friend last night, even if it was for only a night, we connected on a different level than how I've connected with people before. These conversations have happened a few times in my lifetime, and only with those that comfort has existed so strongly. I wonder if he realized that? I also wonder if I will miss him, because right now I think I will. We will pass each other in August as we swap places in the world. He travels to Boston, as I travel to Utah. maybe this is a metaphor of our relationship, that we were meant to meet for only a few minutes in our lifetimes. but he has had a profound influence on me, albeit only for a short time, it was still deep.

This is what I am thinking about, the past and the future merge together in my mind because the future is coming fast, I hear it's footsteps in the hallway, walking closer to my door. and I anticipate the knocking and when I open the door to receive it, will I be joyous? or will I be scared? knots form in my stomach at the notion of the future, butterflies burst from those knots. Ideas are driving me crazy.