Graduation

I graduated from High School on Sunday.  The moment that I had been looking forward to for the past 6 months had finally come.  What did it feel like?  surreal.  I can't process it.  I can't process any of this.  I'll be leaving the comforts of my high school community for a totally new city, a new state, a new school.  I dare compare it to birth, and the leaving of the womb.  It will be a slap in the face and I will gasp for air, staring around at the new life presented to me.  I feel like I'll have to relearn everything that I have gotten up to now.  Hopefully it won't be too traumatizing.  I am looking forward to the slap.

After my ACL surgery, it has left me with a similar knee as a grandmother.  I ache when it rains, and cry when I have to go up or down the stairs.  I avoid lifting anything heavy because I'm a little afraid my knee won't be able to handle it.  But I want to run.  I am to run so bad.  I actually miss it.  I make excuses all the time to people, but the point is, I really wish I could run again.  and jog.  I'm cleared to jump rope, which was on the track to jogging.  So I think I'll be able to jog soon.  Today was painful.  And the numb patch on my knee hurt, along with my shin.  I guess it sounds a little confusing saying that a nump part hurts.  But it does, even if someone hits it, or I bump it accidentally, it hurts.  I just want the pain to stop and go away.  If oxicodone didn't suck so much, I would be popping the pills.  Sometimes it's gone all together, and I forget that I had surgery.  But when I have to go up or down stairs, I am reminded constantly that I can't run just yet.  I really am looking forward to that day when I can jog without a limp.

Only My Knee got hit by a truck

So, over break, I went skiing. For the first time in my life, I went on slopes. It was fun until I got off the ski lift. The ski instructure and I were heading down the mountain again, (well, i guess it would be not so much fun if we headed up) when I fell. It was a pretty lame tumble, to say the least. But basically, my knee popped because of my idiocracy and lack of skiing ability. I vow to never ski again. Come to find out (after I get home and go to the doctor) that I tore my ACL. one of the most important legaments in the knee. Oh joy. So doctor, what does that mean? I have to get reconstructive surgery. Which happened today.

Well, I want to curl up into a ball and die. except i can bend my knee, so i guess I can't curl. But pain killers are really really helpful :D I currently have an ice pack wrapped around my knee, having ice cold water pumped around my knee. It is a pretty nifty feeling, because It is so numb by now that my mom touched the water and asked if I could feel how cold it is. Nope, I cant really feel at all. When I got home, I cried. Trying to get up the steps, trying not to fall over while walking on crutches. I must have looked so pathetic, but it hurts to putt any kind of weight on it.