During the summer, I was a CIT at a Boy Scout Camp. Yes, I am a female, and this works because I am also a venture scout. Its basically a branch of Boy Scouts that co-ed. It is amazing! I spent 6 weeks in the Adirondacks, living in a community with about 10 other males. It totally changes a person's point of view being around the other sex so much. I had very limited contact with females for that time period. I absolutly loved it. Not because I was surrounded by boys, but because I was surrounded by the woods. Yes, I am a nature lover. I meet some interesting characters while I was there, and they all had some influence on me, some more than others.
One of the staff, Dan, is a rather out there kind of guy. He plays guitar and has a sultry voice. He introducd to me Ray Lamontagne, who just came out with a CD. Absolutly amazing! i feel in love with it right away because it is so simple. So calming and inspiring all at the same time. I also read Into the Wild while i was up north. Totally inspiring. I gained a connection with Chris McCandless. We both come from rather disappointing families and want to find ourselves. He ran away, which I don't think I will be able to do. But I do want to escape from the complicated lifestyle that is fasioned for us as children. I need to discover who I am, and what I want without the influence of my parents, especially. I want a simple life, and that is what Chris, or Alex, symbolized for me. A simplier life without the complicated things that tie people down to a job in a cubilce. Man wasn't created to live in a box. I need to see the sky and hear the birds. I think that is also what Ray gives me, is a little sense of the Adirondacks, with his simple voice and just the guitar music. No big bands, just him, his guitar, and his music. So simple, and so comforting.
It is hard to be completely independent when so many people are holding you down. I yearn for the road. I plan to trip across the United States to see my country that I call home for now. I feel so restless, and I want to expand my horizons, meeting new people and seeing new places. I want adventure. I've lived in a box for way to long. This summer gave me a sense of what that would be like, and I loved it. I would be content to live in a tent, sleeping under the stars as my ceiling and going to a new place each day. I would just want someone to share this with, even though that seems contrary to what I have been saying. But this person would have to be intelligent and good company. Also would have to be quiet, but know when to have good conversation. Then again, maybe I'll just go by myself. But then my parents would never let me go. They can't seem to get their heads around the idea that I am growing up and I long to leave soon. I want to miss them. I want to honestly miss them, and the way that they nag me. Right now, its just a bother. I guess religion doesn't really fit in with all of this, except I want to experience the beauty and nature that Heavenly Father has created for us. Humans are destroying it slowly, and soon it will be gone. I want to see it all. I want to be able to say to my children that I had amazing adventures! Not just the boring living in the box. Chris' life is just amazing. I am so jealous of his ambition and guts to go out into the world. I want to do that. i want to live!!
Living at Floodwood truely liberated me, but only for a little while. I soon had to come back down, tie my soul to this uniform that I put on each day, and do the same monotonous routine each and every day. Nothing changes, except for maybe my moods, but even those get into a routine. It is pathetic and NOT how I am suppose to live. I feel the road calling my name, and I must answer it!!
